Needing Stitches
by PolHop
Summary: Morgan took the job offered to him in New York, but he didn't know how to tell Garcia. One thing led to another and they finally crossed the line, only for her to wake up to find him gone to the new position without telling her. This story is based off of Stitches by Shawn Mendes.*2016 PCA WINNER: Best Team/ Case **
1. Chapter 1

_AN: Hi all! So I have had this story floating around in my head for weeks now. I wrote it out a while ago and have decided to post it. This is based off of Stitches by Shawn Mendes – I highly recommend you listen to it. This will be another angst story. Have no fear my readers. I have some updates on Should've Been Mine, Secrets Lies and Desires, Misconceptions, and Strings. They should all be coming out this week. So be on the lookout for those. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy another story from me._

* * *

Penelope Garcia looked out the window on the company jet, letting the words of her team fade into the background. She would be forced to face her heartbreak dead on in less than one hour. She can't help the feeling of going under, that was slowly taking over her as the plane continued on its path.

Her life had been a mess the past couple of months. At fist she was tight lipped about the situation, but soon she felt there was no need to hide her pain from her family. They all knew now how Derek crushed her soul.

 _"Hey guys, have you seen Derek?" she asked as she smiled saying his name. Last night he showed up at her house and, well, finally they crossed the line. It was the most erotic, self-fulfilling experience of her life, and she knew they had turned over a new leaf in their relationship. She wasn't surprised when she woke up alone. He normally went into the office really early, so she didn't think much of it._

 _Reid looked at her, perplexed, while Prentiss looked at her sideways, before speaking, "What are you talking about? He left this morning."_

 _"Wh-what?" She looked at them, shocked. "What do you mean left?"_

 _"Garcia, he took the position in the New York Field office, like, a month ago. He started this morning," Prentiss continued._

 _Penelope felt like the wind had been knocked out of her as she started to panic. She looked up to see Hotch walking towards her motioning for her to follow. She blindly followed him to his office, sitting down, as she felt completely shocked._

 _"Garcia," Hotch said, "you're acting like you didn't know about his decision."_

 _"I ha- had…" She tried to steady her voice. "…he never told me."_

Hotch had apologized to her this morning regarding this case. He had no choice but to bring her along with them. Morgan needed the help of the BAU. Right now, there was an Unsub targeting Federal Agents, torturing them and ultimately killing them. He had been trying to work the case without involving the BAU, but as of this morning the death count was now up to five agents, and Morgan needed all the help he could get.

Garcia thought she had been hurt in the past when it came to love but nothing had ever left her feeling like this. She wasn't going to let that stop her though. She was here to do her job, that was it. She wasn't going to trip over herself with Derek around again. She knew where she stood in his life. She clearly never meant anything to him if it was so easy for him to never tell her he accepted the New York job, and to sleep with her and leave the next morning, like she was one of his _girls_.

She shook her head looking out the window. She was going to work harder than she ever had before during this case. The sooner they caught the Unsub the faster she could get out of New York and move on with her life _permanently_.

* * *

Morgan sat at his desk, looking at the files of his agents that had recently become victims of their newest unsub. He knew he needed to call in the BAU before now, but there was so many reasons he wanted to try to do this on his own. He was still trying to prove himself, and he honestly didn't want to see Penelope's face.

He was a coward- an honest-to-God coward- and he knew it. He ruined the best friendship he ever had. He had intended to go to her apartment that night to explain to her he was leaving the next morning and why he didn't tell her earlier. Somehow, they ended up in bed together.

She was perfect, everything he had ever pictured when it came to them making love, but he knew it couldn't last. He was taking the new job, even if they were only a few hours away from each other.

He missed her, he missed her so much. Her laugh, her smile, the feel of her skin under his fingertips, the way she gave as much as she got. She was his ultimate lover – she anticipated his movements like they had been making love for years. It was like they were made for each other. But he ruined all of it. He tried to call her; however, she had decided to cut all ties with him after she found out he left. He couldn't blame her. She probably thought he had used her like any other one night stand. He never intended it to be like that, never wanted to hurt her.

In the beginning he'd call the others and ask about her, to get some sort of an update. Then one day he was talking to Prentiss and she went off on him. Penelope had told the girls what happened, but he knew the guys probably had their suspicions. He felt like he couldn't talk to any of them anymore. He was so ashamed of his actions, and now he would have to face them all head on. In less then five minutes, the BAU would be walking through the door.

Right on cue, Morgan saw Hotch making his way over to his office. _Game time,_ he thought to himself as he stood up straitening his suit, before making his way into the main room.

"Morgan, it's good to see you. I wish it was under better circumstances, though," Hotch said as he walked up, extending his hand.

"Yeah, not the best circumstances but it's good to see you all," Morgan said, returning the handshake.

Rossi was next to greet him, "Morgan," he said in a slightly bitter tone.

 _A handshake?_ Coming from Rossi. He knew right then that Penelope had either told Rossi or he figured it out on his own. He wasn't going to let that stop him though. He was glad to see them all again, he had missed his family. Morgan took his hand, pulling him into a hug.

Morgan moved to look at the group, front and center she saw Reid. "Pretty Boy!"

Reid smiled, giving him a hug as they greeted each other. Morgan then made his way over to Prentiss and JJ, trying his best to welcome them. Their looks said it all. They were not a fan of how he left things with Penelope - but honestly niter was he.

He finished greeting them and now stood face to face with the only woman he had ever loved.

* * *

She was in the back of the group keeping her eyes down as Morgan welcomed the BAU to his office. She knew seeing him again, was going to be one of the hardest things she would ever have to do. It was already wreaking havoc on her heart and he hadn't even looked at her yet.

Every time her eyes closed, she could feel his lips on hers, the feel of his skin on hers.

She took a deep breath; she would not allow herself to cry. She was on a mission, and she was not going to play the martyr in this situation. She wasn't going to let him know he still affected her. She had to get him out of her head and how to harden her heart, and fast.

She kept her gaze down until she saw two shoes stand directly in front of her. She looked up to see Derek standing in front of her, his face, somewhat apologetic, but it also held something she didn't quite know. She groaned internally. He probably didn't want her here just as much as she didn't want to be here.

"Penelope…"

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading. This is a half case/ half Morgan and Garcia story. I promise you all I will have updates on my stories this week. Let me know what you think of this.


	2. Endless Pain

_AN: Hi everyone! I want to say thank you for reading, reviewing, favoriting and following this story. I know I am constantly starting new stories but I try to get updates out as soon as possible. Please enjoy this next chapter. If you have a moment let me know what you think._

* * *

Penelope sat in her makeshift office, her search program going in the background. The room was dark, and she was thankful for that. The darkness made her feel like she was in her own world, and no one could bother her. It had been one rough morning for her.

Her heart was in tatters lying on the floor. The look in his eyes when he came face to face with her said it all.

 _"Penelope…"_

 _She looked at his face for a brief moment, hoping the walls she built around her heart would hold. She nodded her head once at him, acknowledging his presence in front of her, "Agent Morgan, nice to see you again. If you could show me where I can set up, it would be greatly appreciated." She instinctively took a small step back from him._

 _"Pen-"_

 _"You can point me in the right direction, or I can ask another agent," she interrupted. She caught the apologetic look from Emily around Morgan's shoulder. She needed to stay strong if she was going to stand her ground._

 _Morgan sighed. "Right this way, Bab - I mean, Garcia."_

Penelope felt the tears well in her eyes. God, why did it have to hurt so badly? She would have given anything not to have to see him ever again. It was like the universe was playing a cruel joke on her, forcing her to work along side the man that shattered her heart, leaving her to stitch together the broken pieces.

She needed to keep her distance from him, keep this case as professional as possible. She was going to continue to work on building the walls around her heart.

She took a deep breath, as she let her mind drift back to the first night.

 _She made it into her apartment on autopilot. After Hotch explained everything to her, about Morgan taking the job over a month ago, him starting that morning, she completely zoned out. She didn't understand how the one person that matted the most to her could hurt her so bad._

 _She saw her answering machine blinking so she hit play. Her heart clenching when she heard his voice:_

 _"Baby Girl, um Pen… I guess you're still at work… I was… uh….I want to say I'm so-"_

 _"Message has been deleted. To play next message press the star key. To delete all press the pound key." She made her selection. "All messages have been deleted."_

 _She felt the tears fall down her cheeks. She couldn't hear him say he was sorry for their night. It had meant everything in the world to her. It was the first time she had ever truly opened herself up to a lover, really gave her full self to another human being, and all for nothing._

 _She glanced at the couch. Her breath became shallow as she thought about how they had fallen on top of one another, kissing so fiercely that she knew her lips would be bruised._

 _Something under the couch caught her eye, so she went over to investigate. Morgan's undershirt must have been kicked under the couch in their haste at undressing one another._

 _She picked it up, held it to her face for a moment and then placed it on the couch. She walked a around her apartment gathering every picture, of her and Morgan, every trinket he had ever given her and placed it on the pile that was forming on top of the discarded shirt._

 _She needed to eliminate everything that reminded her of him. Tonight she was going to mourn their friendship, their love lost. She was going to sit and cry until she had no more tears to cry, and in the morning after she boxed up the last reminder of him, she'd start to put her heart back together - piece by piece._

 _But for tonight she was going to wallow in her emotions, try to remember the good times and how he made her feel, because come tomorrow, she'd never forgive him. Tomorrow will start a new chapter of her life. A life without Derek Morgan._

She was brought out of her thoughts of that painful night by a knock at the door.

* * *

Derek couldn't take it anymore knowing she was so close to him and not being about to see her. He was pacing in his office, trying to come up with a legitimate reason to go to her.

He missed her so much, missed his best friend, missed everything about her. There was no hiding how she felt about the situation, her actions made it clear she didn't want to be here. After he had shown her where to set up, he had offered to help but she politely declined informing him that she had done this countless times and if she needed any assistance she would be able to get it from _her_ team.

She was so professional; her words were cold, void of emotions. She had put walls up between them and he had to find a way to break them down. He needed to fix this somehow. He had to get back his God-giving solace.

He looked at his watch; it had been an hour and a half since he left her to her searches. That was enough time, right? He could go to her office and see if she found anything pertaining to the case. He knew in the back of his head it was too soon but he had to try something, anything to get her to talk to him, even if it was just about the case. He missed hearing her voice.

He took a deep breath before leaving his office. He ended up walking past his old team not even bothering to glance at them, as he made his way to where she was.

He knocked briefly before opening the door and entering.

"Garcia," he said, walking in closing the door behind him, "I was wondering if you have anything yet?"

She turned her chair as soon as she heard the knock. The moment she saw Morgan she stiffened and sat up a little straighter in her chair. "Sorry Morgan, but as of right now I haven't found anything."

"Baby Gi-" He stopped as soon as he saw her glare at him, "Garcia, I was wondering if we could talk about-"

He was interrupted when he heard her computer ding indicating the search had produced something. She turned her chair to face her monitors typing away at lighting speed.

He watched as she switched through computer screens, pulling up information after information. And for a brief moment, it felt like they were back at the BAU and she was doing a search for him. He wished he could go back, go back and tell her how he felt, prove to her he loved her and didn't use her.

She jumped up forcing her chair back as she ran to the printer grabbing some pages she had printed out.

"Penelope?"

"I think I found something, I need to get this to Hotch." She went to move past him, but he blocked her way.

"Penelope, at some point can we please talk about that ni-"

She stepped around him, moving out of the door, but decided to look back at him, "I do believe everything that needed to be said has been said. Actions will always speak louder than words."

With that, she left him standing in the office the door closing behind her.

He stood there, staring at the closed door. How was he ever going to be able to fix this? How was he ever going to get his God-given solace back? He had hurt her worse than anyone ever had. He had known about her insecurities when it came to men, he had always worked so hard to help banish them. But here he was, the cause of her pain.

He closed his eyes, and was instantly brought back to that night, it started as frantic love making on the couch, but soon morphed into a slow, soul healing, experience when they made it to her bedroom.

They had made love three times that night, the third time being the most intimate. He had kept their bodies close, never breaking their skin upon skin contact. They had made love on their sides, his face buried in her neck as he nibbled on her skin.

When they were finished, he pulled the blanket up never breaking their contact, he didn't know what would come from this but he knew for the first time in his life he had made love to a woman.

He opened his eyes, taking a deep breath. With shaky knees, he made his way out of the office and to the staging area where Penelope was informing the BAU about her findings.


	3. Disaster

**AN: Hi Everyone! I want to say thank you for all the love on this story. You guys make my heart swell. This chapter is dedicated to evgrrl09. She is not only an amazing beta, but she is also an amazing friend, who on more than one occasion talked me off the ledge with my writing. She has been so inspiring, and has pushed me to be a better writer. She truly has become one of my best friends. So thanks for always being there. :)**

 **I hope you all enjoy this next chapter.**

* * *

Morgan watched as Garcia told them team about her findings. He knew he needed to pay attention to what she was saying, but for the life of him he couldn't. As she bounced around giving the information, he couldn't help himself but think about how perfect she was. Her bubbly personality, her willingness to always help no matter what was going on. She had the biggest most caring heart, but then he thought about how he hurt her and the mess he had caused for them.

"Kitten, were you able to track anything off the website you found?" Rossi asked, looking at the newly printed information Garcia had handed them. She had found a website that depicted the murders, kind of like an online journal of the killings but this had a fan base. It also had tons of anti Government comments.

"Oh my, Italian Stallion, you know darn tootin' I have back hacked a code onto the site. I am just waiting for the host to make a new entry." She looked at Hotch. "And before you ask, Boss Man, I am getting you a list of the names of people that have made comments on the site."

"Wow!" one of Morgan's agents said, as he looked Penelope up and down. "You are mighty impressive."

Penelope turned to the man and smiled brightly at him, before saying, "I'd say you are the one that's mighty impressive."

The man moved himself from his perch on top of the desk and stood closer to her. "Name is Agent Hunter, Cory Hunter," he said, "and who exactly are you? Other than the most extremely talented, beautiful creature to ever walk this earth? "

"Oh, be still my beating heart, Agent Hunter," she said with a smile and a slight blush. "I'm Penelope Garcia, the BAU's technical analyst, and your right hand man until the case is over," she said.

 _Oh hell no! What the fuck did Hunter think he was doing?_ Morgan thought as anger rose inside of him. Morgan knew all about the reputation Hunter had, it rivaled his own back in Quantico. There was no way he was going to let his Baby Girl near this guy, even if she didn't want to be his Baby Girl anymore.

"Agent Hunter," Morgan started, trying his best to hold back his anger, "I need you to go with Agents Reid and Prentiss, to the last crime scene."

Hunter looked back at his boss, a little confused, but shrugged it off. "Sure thing, boss."

* * *

Penelope watched as Hunter, Reid, and Prentiss left the room in search of any new information. She let her eyes travel the backside of Agent Hunter. He was a damn good-looking man; she could tell his muscles probably reviled that of her Chocolate Adonis. Damn it! No Garcie, you will not think of him that way! She chastised herself for so easily putting Morgan back into that spot in her life. No, no, no, that man broke your heart; he doesn't deserve any ounce of forgiveness. You need to stay strong!

She turned her head from watching Agent Hunter leave to come face to face with what looked like a furious Morgan. Why the hell was he upset? She looked him up and down. He had no reason to be upset with her. If anything he should be thrilled with the fact that she wasn't all dotting over him. She was the perfect one-night stand for him; he got in and got out, and she would never speak to him again about anything that wasn't involving the case. The way she saw it, she ended up being his perfect fling, even if it did break her heart.

Hotch cleared his throat, making her look away from Morgan to Hotch, who was now looking down at his tablet. "Garcia, can you get me list of the people commenting on the site, but cross reference them with-"

"Already on it," she said interrupted him. "I'll get you a list with the offenses they've committed and so on."

With that she walked back to her space, still feeling Morgan's eyes on her.

* * *

He was pissed. Right in front of him she openly flirted with one of his agents; right in front of him like it was something she had been dying to do it. He was going to make sure Hunter was too busy with the case to even go near her again. He would go out of his way to make Hunter's life hell if push comes to shove. He got that Garcia was still hurt by his cowardice actions, but there was no way in hell he was going to sit on the sidelines and watch someone like Don Juan Hunter swoop in to mend her broken heart.

He started to pace thinking about the situation he was in. God, he just needed to talk to her, tell her he was sorry, tell her he loved her, make it better between them, but she wouldn't even give him the time of day. And honestly this was clouding his judgment having her so close to him and not being able to touch her, feel her, or even talk to her. He needed to get his head in the game. Right now any one of his agents could be the next target for the unsub.

He knew he wasn't going to get anywhere on the case if he didn't at least try again. He had to do something, so he walked back to her office, but ended up pausing outside the door when he heard her talking on the phone.

"Oh it's my pleasure, Agent Hunter."

He paused to listen to her side of the conversation as he felt jealousy move inside of him.

"Well maybe when this case is over I'll take you up on that offer, Mr. Big Strong Agent Man." He heard her laugh. "Oh, now isn't that something I would love to see."

That was it. He couldn't take it anymore. He burst through the door; ready to end whatever conversation she was having with his agent. "Garcia, I need you-"

She rolled her eyes as she saw Morgan rush into the room. "Cory, I got to go. I'll get you that information sent to your phone."

She turned to look at Morgan. "What do you need?"

His eyes narrowed at her. "I need you to leave Agent Hunter alone. He's a player, Pen. He doesn't really want you, all he wants to do is fuc-"

"Excuse me, Morgan?" she retorted, her eyes shooting daggers at him. How dare he bring up anything about Agent Hunter to her.

"It's just I know how he is and I don't -"

"Unless you have something regarding the case you need to leave right now, Morgan. I am in the middle of trying to get the list back to Hotch and right now, you are making that difficult. If there is anything you need from me, have Hotch call me." She turned back to her computer, ignoring him.

"Jesus Penelope, I just want to fix us, get us back to where we were before we made lov-"

"Ha! Made love? You keep telling yourself that, Morgan." She stood up moving past him. "If you need something from me, have one of the other agents request it." She left him standing speechless for the second time today. This time she didn't have any news for the team, so she instead found the closest bathroom.

Once she was inside she locked her self in the farthest stall and cried. How dare he say they made love? Yes, for her she was making love to him, but clearly on his part it was just release with a woman that would do anything for him before he left for good. Kind of like that old sailor trick about being shipped out the next night, but she didn't know about the leaving part…

She needed to get herself together. She had one goal during this case and that was to keep Morgan as far away from her as possible. There was no way in hell she was going to let him fall back into their old routine. He had betrayed her. He knew for months he was taking the New York job, and never said anything to her, and they were supposedly best friends. Then he did something she never thought he was capable of doing to her. He came over to her apartment and showed her what it was like to really love someone with their body, only for her to wake up feeling used and betrayed when she found out he left to New York. She couldn't help but wonder if that was his plan all along: never tell her he was leaving and get one night of amazing sex out of her, then leave her to be just another notch on his bedpost. She shook her head with disgust.

"You can get through this, Garcia," she told herself. "Just get through this case and you will never have to see him again."

* * *

It had been a long day. He couldn't get anywhere with Penelope. Every time he tried she would give him the brush off. God, he messed up so bad and he had no idea how to fix it.

He picked up his beer and took another long swig. His old team had invited him out to dinner but as soon as he heard Hunter talking about escorting Garcia, he declined. There was no way he would be able to handle seeing Hunter and Garcia all over each other.

He saw red when he looked at Hunter and Penelope together. Even as he was leaving the office, to get some much needed time away to clear his head, he saw Hunter's arm around Garcia's shoulders, him lazily drawing circles with his fingers, where his hand fell.

He would have normally gone straight home, but he was so worked up and upset over the course of the events he needed to do something. So instead he went to a local bar that Agents and cops would often frequent.

He tried to think about the next step he needed to take. Right now, he had agents at risk, and he was working along the love of his life but she wanted nothing to do with him. "Fuck," he said and he finished the last of his beer.

The bartender stopped in fort of him. "Here son, this one is on the house. Looks like you need it."

Morgan grunted his thanks as he grabbed the glass and took a big gulp.

A couple moments after finishing the beer the bartender gave him, he looked at his watch. He notched it was nearly closing time so he went to stand up only to feel like the room was spinning. He blinked a few times to try and clear his vision.

Next time Morgan opened his eyes, he realized he was bound and gaged.


	4. Finding Out

**AN: Thanks for being so patient with me! I know I was going to update yesterday but mid- terms got away from me. So here and I am posting two updates for today! I also have a break for a little today so I will be working on writing some updates. Thank you all for the amazing amount of support you all give me. Thanks to Evgrrl09 for all the help.**

* * *

Penelope made her way into her hotel room. She was exhausted. Seeing Derek again and having him try and act like they did before - before he crushed her - was hard to deal with. Her heart was still healing after all these months. She still couldn't look at dating anytime soon, her heart wasn't ready for it.

But then Cory Hunter had asked to escort her out to dinner tonight with the team. He was nice, funny, and handsome. There was a tiny part of her that wanted Derek to be there to make him jealous again, but was he really even jealous? No probably not. Yeah he stormed into her work area saying Hunter was in it for himself and only wanted to get in between her legs, but then… isn't that what he did?

She threw her bag onto the chair and stripped down to her underwear and crawled into bed. She had to be up in four hours to resume her search for any information regarding the unsub for the case.

She closed her eyes and prayed that tonight would be the first night she wasn't plagued with dreams of her former best friend.

* * *

 _Where the fuck am I?_

Morgan tried to move his hands to get the gag out of his mouth but he was tied tightly. He tried to look at his surroundings, but all he could make out was a workbench with tools sprawled out on top. There was one light on in the corner. He tried to do his best to decipher where he was. It looked like he was in a garage or maybe a warehouse. He couldn't tell.

"Nice of you to finally come to, Agent Morgan," a man said as he made his way over to him.

The man stopped directly in front of him, looking Morgan up and down. He was smoking a cigarette and swaying on his feet a little. When he stepped closer again, Morgan then recognized him as the bartender.

Morgan didn't get it. This guy had always been so nice to him. He'd taken his team out to the local cop bar a couple of times trying to break the ice when he had first got to the New York office, and the bartender was always beyond pleasant. He would bring free drinks to them and talk about the good ol' days.

The man took another puff of his cigarette and then blew the smoke into Morgan's face, causing Morgan to try and move away. Once he was done he took the cigarette, and extinguished it on Morgan's left arm, causing Morgan to jump feeling the pain. Once the cigarette was put out, the man removed Morgan's gag.

"I'll fucking kill you," Morgan hissed, but the man just laughed in his face.

"Hmm. That's almost the exact same thing all the other agents said." The unsub turned from Morgan going to the workbench to grab something. When he moved back in front of Morgan, he now had vice grip pliers in his hand. "Thing is Agent Morgan…not one of them were able to follow through with their threats."

The unsub removed Morgan's shoe and sock before placing the pliers onto one of his toes, ready to tighten the grip.

* * *

Garcia's alarm went of causing her to groan. She had barely gotten any sleep. She couldn't stop thinking about Morgan. She wasn't just thinking of their night together she was thinking about all the times they had spent together. She thought about all the fun things they had shared. However when she would fee like she could open her heart back up, she'd be splashed with remembering the feeling of finding out he had left.

It was a feeling she didn't even know how to, explain but she never wanted the feel that way again. It was a horrible, excruciating pain in her heart.

Everything she had done after he left to fix herself had been unraveled with just one look from him. She still couldn't get over the fact he had the audacity to say they had made love that night.

She felt a single tear fall from her eye as she pushed the blankets away and moved to get herself ready for the day. No matter what happened today or on this case, she was going to find a way to move on from Morgan.

* * *

They arrived at the field office just past seven. Hotch and Rossi instantly went to the conference room to start working while Reid, Prentiss, and JJ all mossed into the computer room with Garcia. All three of them were concerned for their friend having to work alongside Morgan again.

They drank their coffee as Garcia continued her searches from the night before, while the others talked about the case and trying to find connections.

"Hey, Sweet Mama," Hunter said, making his way into the room.

Garcia gave the best smile she could muster, and then turned to face him. She didn't like that Hunter used the same names Morgan did with her. "Hey Stud. Did you sleep well last night?"

"I would've slept better if I didn't have a certain blonde running through my head all night," he said with a smirk.

"First Morgan, and now Hunter," Emily said before she realized what came out of her mouth. Garcia stiffened at the mention of Morgan's name and turned back toward her computers. Emily instantly realized her mistake about mentions Morgan. "Shit Pen, I am so sorry!"

Garcia turned back to Emily and for a brief moment she let the hurt play on her face. Before she could say anything, there was knock at the door.

Rossi came in, stopping the conversation from going a further. "Guys, have any of you seen Morgan? The other agents were saying he is normally in by six thirty, and it's almost eight thirty. I need to gather some information from him about the agents that had been taken."

"Haven't seen him," Garcia mumbled rudely.

"I'm sure he is at the gym or something," Hunter explained. "We've noticed if he is not here, he's always at the gym trying to relief some stress."

"Alright," Rossi said. "He hasn't picked up his phone, so we were wondering. Reid and JJ, go to the gym and then if he's not there head to his apartment."

* * *

" _Fuck!"_ Morgan roared as the unsub brought down a hammer onto his shoulder. Morgan felt the pain rip through his body as he felt his shoulder dislocate.

"Now are you finally going to answer my questions?" the unusb asked going back over to his worktable to pick something else up.

Morgan shot his glare to the unsub the best her could through his swollen eye, "Fuck you!" Morgan hollered as he spit out blood.

"What gives _you_ the right to govern what ever the fuck my brother and I do?" The unsub spat.

"You- you're not making any sense! I didn't do jack shit to you!" Morgan replied, trying to catch his breath as pain continued to shot through his body.

"You're work for them, don't ya? That means you're just as responsible of all the shit they try to feed us!"

 _Damn it!_ Morgan thought as he realized what this guy was finally saying. He recalled Garcia's website she found about anti government rants. He knew there had to be a trigger for his behavior but he figured it had to stem from what Garcia had found.

"You got nothing to say?" the unsub asked, moving closer to him. "Oh, I know what we can do…" The unsub whistled as he made his way back over to the workbench to get a new object to torture Morgan with.

* * *

"No one has seen Morgan anywhere," Prentiss said, walking back into the office with Reid.

Rossi looked down at his watch. "He's been missing for six hours that we know of."

Reid cleared his throat. "Is it safe to say, we think the unsub has Morgan?"

Garcia sat in the office, trying to work as hard as she could to get this bastard unsub. Right now she was searching every name that had ever visited the website for any lead into who this man could be. This unsub was killing agents only after they were tortured. She wanted nothing more than to see her team put this guy away so she could get back to Quantico and leave this hell behind her.

Her computer starting dinging so she looked up to see what had surfaced. There was a new entry made by the host on the unsub's website. Her heart stopped as she felt the tears prick her eyes.

There sitting in front of her was a bruised and broken Derek Morgan on the video feed.


	5. Find Him

**AN: Thank you for all of the wonderful support with this story. I know it is tons of angst, but I LOVE angst. Everything will always work out in the end but it is sure a fun way to get to the happily ever after. I really appreciate the support. Without you guys I would never write.**

* * *

Penelope felt like someone had ripped a rug out from underneath her. She felt like a bucket of ice cold water had been thrown on her. She had to blink back tears a few times, just so she could make sure, what she saw on the screen was indeed Morgan. After only a brief moment, she was able to go into action. She grabbed the laptop and sprinted into the main office in search of her team.

"Hotch!" she screamed, as panic flowed through her. Her whole body shook, making her knees weak.

"Garcia?" Hotch asked as he turned around toward her. He could tell instantly something was very off. "What is it?"

Her ability to speak was gone. So instead she turned the laptop to face him. Her hands shook as she tried to keep the computer still.

Rossi took the laptop from her and placed it on the desk.

"Shit!" he said, looking closer at the screen. "We all had a feeling he had taken Morgan, but I was hoping somehow it wasn't true."

Hotch scanned the room briefly. A crowd had formed around the laptop. There were the rest of the BAU and Morgan's agents all staring at the screen, wide-eyed. "Garcia, in the past entries was there ever a video feed like this one?"

"N-no, Sir," she stuttered.

"Is there anyway you can trace where the feed is coming from?" he asked.

Garcia snapped back into working mode, pushing her emotions aside. Hotch was right: why didn't she try to put a trace on the video feed before she even came out here. Seeing Morgan on her screen, really messed with her. She needed to do whatever she could to help save him before it was too late.

"Let me get right on that, Sir." She sat down at the desk and started to type.

"Alright, we need to get the profile together. If this Unsub sticks to his previous murders, Morgan has no more than twenty-four hours. What do we know?" Hotch asked moving to the whiteboard with the pictures of the last victims.

Reid cleared his throat. "We have established that the Unsub is anti-government. As far as we know his victims have only been federal agents."

"Something had to have happened to him to snap and start killing. His last rant before posting the video feed of Morgan was talking about how the _Man_ puts laws in place that have no right being there," Rossi explained.

"What could he mean by that?" Prentiss asked.

"In the earlier posts on the site the main host talks about his brother and their crimes," Rossi explained. "But did you notice about six months ago the verbiage changed to "was" when he talked about his brother? That was also about the time the Unsub started bashing the government, heavily and how everything is a big conspiracy."

"Something must have happened to the brother and that is what his stressor to start killing," Hotch concluded.

"He's intelligent, and can hold a job and conversations. How else would the Unsub be able to subdue the agents? He's smart enough to be able to deceive them. He also has to have some knowledge about the agents. He knew where they lived, what department they worked in," Prentiss added.

"Are we thinking it could be someone from the inside?" Reid asked.

"He knew when the victims personal schedules. Look at the second victim, Terry Cobbs. Cobbs was taken after a sixteen-hour shift. He was one of the top in his specialized task force unit. He was not a man that would have been easily subdued." Hotch pulled off the picture of Agent Cobbs. "So the Unsub had to have knowledge on the fact that Cobbs would have been fatigued. Cobbs was with the Unsub for thirty-six hours. He was tortured, shot between the eyes, and eventually dumped where someone would find him."

"He likes to send a message with the bodies," JJ interjected.

"He has a vendetta against the government, particularly the FBI. There has to be some link." Hotch turned to Garcia. "Look up any of the reports going back six months for, something that has a casualty, maybe a shooting or a suspect that was brought in for questions and something went wrong."

Garcia nodded so he turned back to the group. She did her best to bite back her tears as she started the search. This was not the time to put her feelings first. She was already in emotion overload having to work with Derek, but this put it over the top. But no matter what she was feeling, she had to get him back safe. They might not be friends anymore, but no one deserved to die.

"Even though there was trace evidence of a GHB in their systems the Unsub demonstrated a lot of rage, when torturing the victims, "Rossi said. "I keep going back to something happened with the Unsub's brother. This is his way of getting revenge."

"Oh God!" Garcia cried, getting the attention of everyone in the room.

There on the screen was a man wearing all black and a black mask holding what seemed to be an iron rod that had been heated at the end. It glowed bright orange. The room went quiet as the unsub finally spoke.

"It's nice of you to join us," he said, looking towards the camera. "Agent Morgan has been a pleasure to have."

The agents watched as a gagged, bloody, and broken Morgan tried to struggle against his restraints.

"I need answers and Agent Morgan here has deiced to play dumb. Bad choice on his part." The Unsub walked over to Morgan and placed the tip of the iron rod against his exposed stomach, causing him to groan in pain the best he could against the gag in his mouth.

The man looked back at the camera. "See, I need to know why you all think it's okay to come into someone's house and take what's not yours? Who gives you the right to say you know what's best for anyone?" He picked up a knife that was at his feet after he threw down the rod. "Apparently I'm not going to need Agent Morgan anymore if he ain't gonna give me the answers I'm needin'." He took the knife and plunged it into Morgan's stomach. Then the screen went black.

Everyone in the room stayed quiet for a few seconds trying to digest what they had just witnessed.

"Garcia, were you able to trace anything?" Hotch asked clearing his throat.

As tears sprung from her eyes she started to type. "I can't get the location of the feed. It's being rerouted from twenty different locations."

"Can you get a location?" he asked.

"Y-yes, I think so. It might take me some time, though."

* * *

Morgan growled against the gag in his mouth as he felt the knife pierce his skin.

"Now, that was a fun little show we put on, wasn't it?" The bartender asked as he took off his mask.

Morgan tried his best to fight against the restraints again, but it was futile. With his arm broken, his shoulder dislocated, and now with the stab wound in his lower abdomen, he was losing all strength.

"Now you sit here son, while I go to the bar and listen to what any of those agents have to say." The man turned on his heels, leaving Morgan slumped in the chair, barely conscious.

Once the bartender left the room. Morgan raised his head to look at the camera that was pointing right at him. He knew it was turned off, but he still wished there was a way to get a message to his former team- one person in particular. He wasn't dumb; he knew there was no way he was going to make it out alive at this point. His body was bruised and broken, but all he wanted to do was somehow get a message across to Penelope. If this was where he was going to die, he needed to be honest with himself and her.

* * *

Garcia frantically searched the programs trying to pinpoint the location of the video feed. Next to her, her programs were going wild searching for the identity of the Unsub. She was able to get a screenshot of the video feed and was able to determine the approximate height and weight of the masked man.

She was currently comparing his build type and the names and pictures – from the DVM website- of the people that had participated on the sight for any slight indication of the Unsub.

"Two more down," she said to herself.

"Two more what?" JJ asked, stepping in behind her.

"Two more locations the Unsub bounced the feed off of are down. I am trying to backtrack it. I want to see if I can get the location this way," Garcia said in a rushed tone. She was in the zone and inching her way through the web of servers the Unsub had used. "He's good, but I'm better."

"We'll find him," JJ assured her.

"I know we are going to find him. The question is: will he be alive?"

* * *

 _AN: if you have a moment, let me know what you think. :)_


	6. Save Him

**AN: Congratulations to Kirsten Vangsness on her engagement! This makes my heart swell!**

* * *

Penelope sat at the desk, going through server after server. Her one goal right now was to find Morgan. She had a gut feeling he was still alive, she knew he was. Maybe it was the connection they once shared, but she could swear on her own life she knew he was alive.

"How is it coming, Garcia?" Hotch asked, walking into her makeshift office.

"It's going, sir," she answered. "I have been able to narrow down the servers again. I believe I only have a few more."

"Good work, Garcia. I know this is hard for you." He left the room, leaving her to her work.

 _Hard for me?_ she thought. _That's an understatement._ This was going to have one of two outcomes, nothing else. One, they were going to find Morgan alive, and in the end, he would go back to working in the New York office, far away from her. Or two, they were going to find Morgan, but he'd be dead. That would only leave her heart in a worse state than it was now. Either way, she was never going to be the same.

* * *

Morgan slowly opened his eyes. He didn't know how long he had been asleep for. The pain was getting worse. His arm and shoulder now dangled at his side, sending excruciating shockwaves through his body. He looked at the burn from the iron rod, and then to the stab wound on his lower abdomen, and closed his eyes trying to ward off the pain.

He took a deep breath the best he could. One thing was running through his mind, and there was nothing else he could think of. He wanted to see her face, at least one last time.

* * *

"Hey, Sweetheart," Hunter said gently as he walked into the room.

Penelope turned to him, sighing. "Hi, Cory."

"How are you holding up?" he asked, moving to grab a chair to sit right next to her.

"I think I'm almost there. This guy is good. He knows what his doing. He's fearless as we can all tell with what he's done so far," she rambled.

"You're going to find him," he told her. "Your team is the best. They're working in a way I have never seen a unit work before. You all anticipate each others movements."

She looked at him and nodded before turning back to her work. She didn't need to be told about how her team worked, she knew that already. But she understood he was trying to help ease her mind. Cory was a good guy from what she knew about him. She didn't know much, but what she did know she liked. No matter how much she liked him though, it made no difference. Her heart would only ever belong to the person that shattered it.

Hunter stood up, moving to Penelope's side, kissing her temple. She couldn't help but stiffen; it was such a Morgan thing to do. Cory acted a lot like Morgan when it came to her. She shook her head, brushing him off. She had a job to do.

She continued typing vigorously, more determined than ever. She worked like she had never worked before.

"Come on," she said as she continued to type. "You can run, but you cannot hide."

Her eyes went wide when she unlocked the last piece. She clicked on a few keys before, right in front of her a picture of Morgan appeared on the screen. She felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. His head was hanging, his body limp. She instantly felt the tears fall down her face as she guessed the worst.

She took a deep breath ready to call in her team when she watched him raise his head.

"He's alive!" she screamed. She typed some codes pinpointing the location. She jumped out of her seat running to her team. "He's alive!"

"How do you know?" Reid asked.

"I was able to turn the camera back on," she rushed out. "He lifted his head."

"Did you get the loc-"

"I just sent it to your phones," she interrupted.

Everyone started to move getting ready to head to the location. This was the break they were looking for. Hopefully they would be able to get there before anymore happened to Morgan, and possibly get the upper hand on the Unsub.

"What do you think you're doing?" Hotch asked looking at his analyst.

"I'm going with you."

"It's not safe, Garci-"

"Sir, I know it's not safe, but I have to be there. I have to see him," she explained.

"You have a vest on at all times and do not get out of the SUV," Hotch said.

Penelope nodded her head and followed behind her team, ready to save Morgan.

* * *

Morgan lifted his head after he heard the click. He didn't know what it was, thinking it could have been the bartender coming back he wanted to try to prepare himself. However, when he looked up he saw no sign of the bartender, but he did see the little red light on the camera.

He knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that his girl had figured out a way to find his location and turn the camera back on. He knew it, it was the connection they had. He could feel it in his bones that his Baby Girl was looking through the camera, staring back at him.

* * *

"Ready?" Rossi asked as they made their way into position.

Hotch nodded his head. He singled for Prentiss and Reid to make their move, while Rossi and JJ followed suit.

Penelope stood outside of the SUV and watched. She felt like she couldn't breath, this was the moment of truth for them. Soon they were going to find out if Morgan was dead or alive.

* * *

"Clear!" Morgan heard from outside his room. He waited with bated breath. He knew that only meant one thing. The team found him, and he was still alive.

"Morgan!" Reid hollered as he made his way into the room. Hotch fallowing after. Both men ran over to their friend, hurrying to untie him. "There's an ambulance outside."

"Do you know who did this to you?" Hotch asked, putting his hand on the open wound trying to stop the bleeding.

Hunter came running in with the paramedics by his side.

"Morgan," Hotch got his attention again. "Do you know the man that did this?"

Morgan took a deep breath, looking at Hunter. "The bartender."

The paramedics moved into work on Morgan as Hotch turned towards Hunter. "What bartender?"

"The one at the local bar?" Hunter asked as Morgan was being placed on the gurney as the paramedics continued to stabilize him.

"Yeah," Morgan grunted. He had no energy left. He knew they were there to save him, and he wanted to help more, but he felt his body fading and his eyes begin to close.

Hunter turned back to Hotch. "There is a local bar we all hang out at. It's almost all agents."

"That's how he probably knew everyone's schedule," Reid interjected.

"Hunter, get on the phone and get a unit over to the bar to pick up the bartender," Hotch delegated, moving over to Morgan who was now on the gurney. Morgan looked horrible, but he was thankful they were able to find him before the unsub finished the job.

"Okay," Hunter said, pulling out his phone to get a team over to the bar to pick up the unsub.

* * *

Penelope watched the door. She knew it was somewhat of a good sign when she watched the paramedics run into the building shortly after her team went in. That had to mean he was alive right?

She started pacing in front of the SUV, fiddling with her hands as she continued to wait. Waiting was the worst part. Her heart raced, and her palms were sweaty. If he was alive does that mean he was going to make it? How much damage had the Unsub caused?

She heard the door open again and saw Derek being wheeled out by the paramedics. Before she knew what she was doing, she ran to him, tears streaming down her face.

JJ was at Derek's side, telling him he was going to be okay. When Penelope heard the paramedics response saying they believed he would pull through fine she immediately stopped running and stood there staring at Derek who was now gazing at her with wide eyes.

No! she was not going to do this. She chastised herself. She got her answers; he was going to be okay. No matter how glad she was he was alive, she wasn't going to fall back into her old roll, giving everything she had to him, to get nothing in return. Or worse, open herself back up only to be thrown away again. Derek was going to be fine, he had his team here in New York, and she was sure some of the BAU would help him, if they needed to. She didn't need to be around him.

He wasn't her colleague, he wasn't her friend, and he certainty wasn't her lover.

"Baby," Hunter said, running up to Penelope. "We know who it is."

She turned to Hunter who was closing his phone. She had so many emotions running through her. She was glad Morgan was alive, but that also meant once he was better, life was going to go back to how it was, him in New York, her in Virginia. Morgan being taken by the Unsub didn't change anything. He still left her after a one night stand. No matter how bad she felt that he was hurting, she refused to fall back into whatever it was they had been. She wouldn't do it.

She threw herself into Hunters arms, sobbing.

* * *

Derek opened his eyes when he felt the night air on his skin. He was weak, his breathing was shallow and he was in pain. He looked out, and he thought his eyes were deceiving him. There in front of his was Penelope running towards him. His heart started to beat faster as he went to reach out for her, but then, out of nowhere, she stopped.

She was no longer running towards him, instead her face was pained. He somewhat heard JJ speaking next to him as they moved him into the ambulance, but he couldn't make out what she was saying. His whole attention was on Penelope. He watched in horror as Hunter ran up to her.

The last thing he saw before the back doors of the ambulance shut, was Agent Hunter pulling Penelope into his arms.


	7. Moving On

**AN: I have to thank my girl evgrrl09. Dude, she rains me in sometimes and that is good for everyone. Thank you for all the support. I love this story so I am cranking it out.**

* * *

Derek let his eyes flutter open for the first time in days. He tried to register his surroundings, there were white walls, bright lights, and everything smelled clean. It was a huge contrast to the room he was being held in.

"Morgan." The voice caught him off guard. "Nice of you to join the land of the living."

Derek turned to the noise, seeing Rossi sitting cross-legged in a chair in the far corner of the room. "Rossi?"

"Glad to see you're finally awake," Hotch said, making his presence known.

"Yeah, you had us worried there," Emily stated.

"What happened?" Morgan asked feeling the pain of his wounds take hold of him.

"You lived, that's what happened," Rossi commented. "You're the lucky one."

Derek looked down at his arm, where he was feeling the worst pain. His arm was in a cast and his shoulder in a sling. He moved the sheets to see bandages along his abdomen.

Hotch cleared his throat. "You've been out for two days. When they got you here, they popped your shoulder back in and had to do surgery on your arm and where you were stabbed. There's an infection where you were burned with the rod. But the doctors are getting it under control. You also have two broken toes.

Morgan nodded as he looked around the room. He saw JJ, Reid, Rossi, Prentiss, and Hotch. There was a distinct member of the group missing and his heart sank.

He took a deep breath, the best he could. "How did you find me?"

"Garcia was able to backtrack the servers the bartender used to pinpoint your location. When she got to the camera, she was able to turn it back on. At first she thought you were dead but then you lifted your head," Hotch explained.

 _She_ was _looking at me,_ he thought. "I heard the click and thought the guy was coming back, but then I saw the light on the camera."

"Yeah, she was able to get your exact location. When we found you, you were barely conscious," Hotch continued.

Morgan closed his eyes. He could remember the team coming in, him telling them who it was and then… He shot his eyes open. Garcia wasn't there, and the last thing he remembered was her running towards him and then stopping and going into Hunter's arms.

"We got him, Morgan," Rossi said, looking at Morgan's pained expression. "You don't need to worry about him anymore. Hunter was able to send a unit to pick him up at the bar. He put up a fight, but they got him."

"Turns out, the FBI were tracking his brother and his terrorist and anti government activities. They were trailing him. When they finally had enough substantial evidence they moved into arrest him. He ended up putting up a fight, causing one of the counter terrorist teams to shoot him," Hotch said.

Morgan nodded his head. He was glad the guy was no longer an issue. But he knew the BAU would have handled him. What was really bothering him with the fact that Garcia was nowhere to be found. He scanned the room once more. "Where is Garcia?"

"She went home the next morning after the Unsub was caught," Reid said.

"She wasn't needed here anymore, and seeing that you were a part of the BAU, Strauss gave us the week off. Garcia didn't want to stay around," Hotch said.

Morgan panicked, his heart starting to race again. She didn't even stick around to make sure he was okay. They were done, and there was no way him being stuck in this hospital bed he would be able to fix them.

* * *

Penelope sat in her empty apartment. She had gotten a text from Emily saying Morgan had woken up and that they were going to stick around for a few days to make sure he was okay.

She shook her head. The first chance she got, she left New York, and if it were up to her she would never step foot in that state again. She said goodbye to Hunter, and hopped on the next plane out. Hunter was a nice guy, but not the right guy for her, not when he reminded her so much of Morgan.

Leaving New York and Morgan in a hospital bed was the final chapter; she could finally close the book on Derek Morgan.

She looked over at the box in the corner of the room. Try as she might, she wasn't able to bring the box to the dumpster after packing everything that reminded her of Derek the past couple of months. After she was done gathering everything together that night, she had planned to take it to the garbage, but every time she tried she couldn't do it.

Not anymore. She went over to the box getting ready to finally remove him from her life when a loud clap of thunder jolted her. She looked out the window to see a monsoon. She shook her head with a laugh.

"I'm finally ready to chuck it, and you decide it's funny to throw a storm in my way?" she said, looking out of the window.

As soon as the storm let up, she was going to rid herself of the box that had been haunting her. She moved back to the couch, taking her cup of tea in hand as she decided to sit and look out the window at the falling rain.

Storms always seemed to calm and renew her. She let the feeling of the rain wash away her bottled up emotions. She always felt like she could take on anything after a storm.

She sat there, glancing at the box and then back to the window. She had learned to live her life the past couple of months without him, proving to herself she could do it for the rest of her life.

Maybe it was a good thing she went to New York and saw him. Everything happens for a reason, and that reason might have been the fact that, she needed to see him one last time to get the closer that she needed.

It took everything inside of her not to run to his side and be there every step of the way during his recovery. But that wasn't her role anymore. She was not the best friend, or colleague that would drop everything to be by his side.

She sighed again. Somewhere deep inside her, even after he shattered her, she still referred to him as her best friend, and even lover. She would catch herself fantasizing about the night they had shared, and the possibility of having forever with him. However, every time she let that fantasy take hold of her, she'd be struck cold with the overwhelming feeling of the reality of the situation.

Derek Morgan never loved her. Not even as a friend. A friend wouldn't have waited until the last day possible to tell her he had taken the New York job. A _best_ friend wouldn't have come over to her apartment and finally give her everything she had ever wanted, only to leave the next morning without mentioning a word to her about his plans.

His actions cut her to the core. She had walked around numb after he left, but for the first time, she knew she was going to make it out alive. Derek wasn't her lover, wasn't her friend, and it was time she moved on.

She could finally start to stitch her heart back together one tread at a time.

She got up to go get another cup of tea. As she padded her way over to the kitchen, a knock on her door stopped her. She frowned looking at the clock. It was eleven thirty at night. There was no one she knew that would come around at this time.

She cautiously opened the door, only to see a drenched, broken and battered, Derek Morgan leaning against the doorframe.


	8. I'm Yours

**AN: Hey Everyone! I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support. I truly cannot get over how amazing you guys have been. I will never be able to truly thank you enough. My Christmas story is four chapters in and almost complete. I am trying to do what I did with my Halloween story and have it all done before I post it. So the first chapter will be posted in a day or so.**

 **I want to say Happy Birthday to an amazing follower of mine nae1213. She is so sweet in so many ways. She's a great** **supporter and I smile when I get a random PM form her asking how my day is going. Thank you, sweetie. You are a rockstar and I hope you have a wonderful birthday.**

* * *

Penelope blinked a few times, not sure if her eyes were playing tricks on her. There was no way Derek could be at her door. She froze in her spot trying to make sense of anything that was happening.

"Penelope?"

His tattered voice snapped her into action. "What the hell are you doing here? Oh God," she cried and she grabbed onto his soaking wet shirt and brought him into her apartment. She instantly went into overdrive, trying to help him. She could tell he was struggling to stay up, so she grabbed onto his side to help him walk.

"God, why are you so stupid?" she mumbled as she brought him into the bathroom. "Do you need my help or can you get out of those wet clothes on your own?"

Derek blinked at her, not sure of the answer he should give. He wanted her help. He needed to know how it felt for her to care for him again, but right now was not the time. She hadn't even looked him in the eyes yet.

Penelope shook her head. "Never mind. Give me a second and I'll get you dry clothes and make you a cup of tea."

She left him in the bathroom. If she didn't think the universe was messing with her before, she was sure of it now. Not only could she not throw away that stupid box, now the owner of the items was at her doorstep. To make matters worse, she actually had to go into the discarded items and retrieve that undershirt that was under the couch, along with some sweatpants.

She grabbed the clothes and padded back to the bathroom. She opened the door and tossed them at him. "I'll have hot tea for you in the living room. Just leave your wet clothes in the sink and I'll come in and get them later." She turned and left him standing there.

Derek stared at the shut bathroom door. When he hobbled up to Penelope's front step, after the cab had dropped him off, he somehow pictured this differently. He figured he'd get the door slammed in his face, or her scream at him. But no, not at all. Yes, she was shocked to see him there at first, but she immediately took charge and made sure _he_ was okay.

He looked down at the clothes in his hand. He was surprised to see them. He had thought she would have gotten rid of everything that belonged to him.

Somehow this gave him hope.

He wasn't able to lift his arm to get the shirt on, and after trying several times he decided to give up. He was in too much pain and far too nervous to figure out how to get into the shirt.

He made his way into the living room to see Penelope sitting on her couch, looking out of the window. He knew he made enough noise that she would have know he was there, but yet, she wouldn't even look towards him.

"Umm, Penelope?" he said, with a shaky breath, causing her to snap her attention back to him.

She jumped up from her seat and rushed over to him, placing his arm over her to help support his weight.

"Can you help me get this on?" he asked his voice riddled with pain.

She brought him over to the couch and sat him down grabbing the shirt from his hand. She carefully maneuvered over his dislocated and bandaged shoulder and abdomen.

"Thank you," he said.

She nodded and handed him the cup of tea that she had made, to help warm him up. She watched as he took a sip and then placed the cup back onto the table.

"I didn't think you'd have anything left of mine," he said as he gestured to his clothes. "Thank you."

She motioned to the box under the window. "If it wasn't storming, there wouldn't be anything left."

He nodded and then swallowed hard. "Umm… thanks for letting me in–"

"Why are you here?" she asked coldly.

He looked at the pained expression on her face. "I… you weren't there when I woke up."

She stared at him blankly.

"Everyone else was there, but you weren't and then Hotch said Hunter took you –"

"Why does that even matter to you?" she interrupted.

Derek went to move back further onto the couch but winced when he turned a certain way. Penelope instantly moved over to him to help him settle. "Why did they discharge you if you're still in so much pain?"

"They didn't discharge me," he said through clenched teeth.

She turned her head to the side. "What do you mean they didn't discharge you?"

"I left," he said. "As soon as the team went back to the hotel, I unhooked my IV, and got dressed and left."

"Why would you do something so stupid?" She shook her head standing up. "God, have you lost every ounce of intelligence in that handsome head of yours? We need to get you back to a hospital, come on."

"No," he said. "I'm not going back. Not until we talk."

She turned back to glare at him. "Derek, you're obviously in pain. You need to get back to the hospital and get some pain meds, have the doctors check you out."

"No!" he shouted. Going to stand up. "You weren't there when I woke up, you were out with _Hunter._ How am I to know that if I leave right now, he won't be right around the corner waiting to come in here and fu-"

"Whoa! You need to relax." She walked back over to the couch. No matter how much she wanted to scream and him, and make him believe Hunter was there. Derek was hurt and he didn't need the added stress. She took his hand and helped him back onto the couch. "Hunter is in New York."

"Good," Derek mumbled, before looking at her, taking a deep breath. He looked over at the box. "You said if it wasn't storming you wouldn't have any of this."

"That's right," she said softly. "Tonight was the night I was finally okay with letting you go…" She then shook her head lightly. "… but then here you are." _Figures the universe would like to fuck with my pain some more,_ she thought not looking at him.

Derek moved as close as he could to her without hurting himself. Swallowing hard, he said, "I know I hurt you…. God, baby, I promised to always protect you and I'm the one that hurt you."

"It's done," she said looking up at him tears present in her eyes.

"I didn't know how to tell you I took the job," he started. "I was so afraid that when you found out, you'd hate me. So I kept putting it off and putting it off, then before I knew it I was scheduled to start in New York. So I came over here to finally tell you and –"

"You'd thought you'd finally see if you could play with my heartstrings some more? Show me what it was like to finally make love to a man and give every part of my heart, body, and soul to another person only to wake up and find you had left. And not even just left back to your house like most of your other one night stands. No, you left to _another_ state," she said trying her best to push back the tears.

"It wasn't like that," he pleaded.

"No, it was worse than that. For someone that was my _best_ friend–"

"Is," he stated. " _Is_ your best friend. God, Penelope, you're my everything, you're my world. You always have been and that night meant –"

"Nothing to you," She interrupted.

He moved closer once again this time grabbing her hand. "That night I made love for the first time in my life. I know I'm at fault here. I ruined us, but I'm here now. I got a second chance at life. I'm here to fix us, show you that you're the love of my life. I won't waste this second chance."

She pulled out of his grasp. She needed to distance herself from him. This man sitting next to her, shattered her heart. She befriended him, told him all of her deepest darkest secrets. She fell in love with him, a love she still had to this day, but he, he destroyed her. Not only did he not tell her he took the job, he slept with her and then bolted the next morning.

"Derek, when Hotch told me I needed to go with them to help you I was pissed, hurt, and scared. I didn't want to see you. That first moment I saw you, everything I had been trying to hide away came rushing back. You hurt me, Derek. More than I have ever been hurt before in my life. You crossed a line in our _friendship_ and I never wanted to see you again."

She watched Derek swallow.

"But I had to. I had to help you catch the unsub and then when he took you…" she trailed off looking away.

"I'm so sorry, for everything."

"I saw you with your head hanging and I thought you were dead. The man that still owned all of my heart was dead. But you raised your head –"

"Owned your heart?" he asked clinging to the bit of information she had divulged.

"I stopped breathing. I worked as hard as I have ever worked before to get your location. I didn't want you to end up like the other agents. I wasn't ready for you to die yet," she cried, finally letting the tears fall.

"I'm alive because of you," he stated.

"No, you're alive because the _whole_ team worked together to save you." She shook her head.

"I thought I was going to die. I thought that was going to be the end of me, and I couldn't stand the thought of leaving you that way. _You_ were the reason I held on. _You_ were the reason I looked up at the camera. _You_ kept me alive."

She turned towards him. "It's not smart you left the hospital."

"I don't give a damn about being in the hospital and what's smart or not. All I care about is you, and only you."

"I can set-"

"You ran to me when they wheeled me out, but then you stopped. _You_ stopped," he said with a pained expression remembering her falling into Hunter's arms.

"I couldn't run to you. You're not my best friend. You aren't my lover," she whispered.

"I am, though. I'm yours," he said.

She shook her head and stood but motioned for him to stay seated when he tried to follow. She went to the hall closet and grabbed some blankets and a pillow. She walked back into the living room. "If you won't go back to the hospital, which I think you should, I won't send you out in the storm."

Just then there was a crack of thunder and a bolt of lighting that flashed through the living room. "I can call Hotch in the morning and he can take you back to New York tomorrow, or the hospital here," she continued. "I'm sure he'll be calling, once he finds out you left the hospital like the idiot you are."

He moved to stand up, holding his side, trying to reach for her.

She moved out of his grasp handing him the pillow. She moved around him and began setting the couch. Once she was done, she turned to face him. "If the pain gets too much just holler for me and I'll take your stubborn ass to the hospital."

She left the living room not looking back.

Derek threw the pillow down and moved over to the box. He slowly started pulling everything out. There were pictures of him and her, some of just him, trinkets he had bought her over the years. He felt his heart sink even more, realizing she was about to throw him out of her life for good.

He picked up a picture of him and her. He let his fingers trace over her cheek. "I'm yours," he whispered not wanting to disturb her in the other room. "No matter what it takes I will prove to you that I'm yours forever." He placed the photo back where it used to be and grabbed another item from the box placing it where it once called home, too.


	9. Not Again

**AN: Thank you once again for all of the support. I know this story has a lot of emotion in it. I really want to thank all of you. You guys make me want to write more. Your reviews really push me to carry on. So thank you all!**

 **China- Thank you so much for your review. I know the holidays made it a little harder for me to get regular updates done. I will try and get them updated better. I know I have a few more weeks until the semester starts back up. I am glad you like the raw passion. You my friend are amazing.**

 **I received and email from the Profilers Choice Awards. I am beside myself, you all nominated me so many times. Half of the ones I didn't even know I would qualify for. I am so overwhelmed with glee. Now, I just need to pick my five for the ballot. Even if the ones you picked do not make it on the final, I am truly grateful. I am so so happy. Thank you again!**

* * *

Penelope woke up from a restless night. When she did actually fall asleep, she had nightmares of Derek being taken by the unsub again, but this time they weren't able to save him. She shot up out of bed more often than she would like to admit.

It was now seven in the morning and she decided it would be better to just get up for the day. There was no use in trying to sleep anymore if it was not going to come. She quietly grabbed her robe and made her way out to the living room. She had left her phone in there and wanted to call Hotch.

She didn't want to disturb Derek so she kept the light off. However, when she moved into the living room she didn't see him on the couch. A part of her felt relief that he must have left during the middle of the night. Lord knows she was used to that. But there was a bigger part of her that shattered that last bit more. Of course Derek wouldn't have stuck around. Why would he? He made his choice months ago, and even if he spouted things to her last night that she dreamed of hearing… this wasn't a movie. Not everyone got their happy ending.

She moved over to her phone picking it up along with the teacup from last night. She picked up the box that was on the floor seeing that it was now empty. That's when she looked around, seeing the discarded items that involved Derek, were all back in their place.

Looking around the room and seeing everything where they once called home, after months of them being hidden away, sent a new wash of pain through her. How could he put everything back and then just leave again?

She placed the box on the coffee table. She would have to repack everything now, but first if she were going to have to do this _again_ she was going to need a little help. She started walking to her kitchen ready to make coffee.

"Good morning, baby," he said in a pained tone, as he leaned against the counter.

"Derek?" she asked, shock marring her face. What in the hell was he still doing here? And obviously in pain.

"You're supposed to say, _I'll show you a good morning, Hot Stuff,_ " he said, smirking at her.

"What are you doing?" she asked, showing that she was annoyed.

"Making coffee. What does it look like? I know no one gets in the way of Penelope Garcia, until she has had her morning brew." He reached up to grab a coffee cup but winced in pain.

"Idiot!" she said, moving to his side to help him. "I never knew you were this stupid."

When she moved to support him, Derek finally gave into his body and let his full weight lean into her. After spending most of the night, fixing her apartment. He was in a tremendous amount of pain. He almost felt like he was going to pass out at one point. But he didn't care. He needed to try and attempt to fix them and putting him back into her apartment was just the start. She looked so beautiful first thing in the morning. He cursed himself, he was foolish to ever let this go. "I'm not stupid," he said, through clenched teeth. "I'm just in love-"

"Stop," she interrupted, shaking her head. She couldn't hear any of his pleas right now. As she tried to move him back to the living room, she thought she she take a look at his bandages. She remembered after being shot, the slightest movement would cause the wound to rip open.

She lifted his shirt a little only to see the bandage saturated in blood. "You really are a fucking idiot," she mumbled. She slowly brought him to the bathroom instead of the couch. She could tell he was in too much pain to speak.

She sat him down on the edge of the tub and carefully removed his shirt. Once the shirt was off she moved to the cabinet under the sink. She thankfully still had bandages from her shooting. She grabbed some alcohol, the bandages, and a wash cloth with warm water on it. She looked in the mirror, trying to control her nerves. Derek was here, and no matter what she was feeling she needed to help him. It was the right thing to do.

She saw him staring at her, his eyes wide. He was watching every move she made, intently. She shook her head and moved back to him getting onto her knees in front of him.

Pain was shooting through him. He had pushed himself hard last night to empty the box completely. But now her kneeling in front of him, was bringing back all the memories, of that night together. He closed his eyes, trying to figure out a way to fix this, and keep his body in control.

"This is probably going to hurt," she said, picking at the medical tape on his bandage.

"Not as bad as losing you," he told her, making sure to look in her eyes. He felt her pull at the bandage, clearly ignoring what he said.

"Oh man, Derek. You ripped one of your stitches." She took the wash cloth and started to dab at the blood doing her best to clean him up.

Although he was in pain, having her care for him once again felt like nothing else. All he wanted was for her to be the one to take care of him for the rest of his life, just like he wanted to be the one to take care of her.

"I see you did some redecorating last night…"

 _Good, so she noticed,_ he thought as he winced when she hit a practically painful spot. "I didn't redecorate. I just fixed some things. Put some items back where they belong… you know?" he said, trying to smile at her.

"It's not your place to put anything back where it should or shouldn't be," she said, tossing the soiled washcloth aside before placing some alcohol swabs against his wound. She didn't miss the jerk of his skin. She tried to look anywhere but at him. Images of that night flooded through her mind. She shook her head again, trying to remove those thoughts. She was not going to let herself fall back into their old ways. He hurt her in a way no one should ever hurt anyone.

She was stronger now. No matter how smooth he was, she wasn't going to fall again. Not after she finally picked herself back up.

"As your best friend _and_ your lover I think it is," he said.

She abruptly stood up and in the process of the hasty move knocked Derek backwards into the tub. She heard him holler in pain as he tried to stop from falling. She quickly jumped into the tub, reaching for him. "Oh frack, Derek, I'm sorry!"

Although he was in even more pain, he used his good arm to pull her head closer to his. He kissed her, kissed her like she had never been kissed before.

All the pain he was feeling was worth it the second he felt her open her mouth and respond.

* * *

 _AN: Ahhh, its getting good now :) What did you think?_


	10. Feeling That I'm Going Under

**AN: Thank you once again for all of the support. You guys are so amazing. I really do not know what I would do without you. So thank you from the bottom of my heart.**

 **Needing Stitches is up for a Profile's Choice Award, for Best Angst. If you have a moment, please go and vote for it. Voting is still open.**

 **Thank you again. I love you all :)**

* * *

Derek felt her lips pressed hard against his as he worked to deepen the kiss. This is what he wanted. He wanted Penelope to kiss him back. Have her realize he was serious about her.

He ignored the pain he felt as he tried to pull her on top of him in the tub.

He was a foolish man for hurting her the way he did, and here in her bathroom, he silently vowed, to himself and her that he would do whatever it took to prove, he was hers.

He moved his hand to her waist, seeking out the hem of her shirt. Once he felt his fingers braze against her heated flesh, he started to move upwards.

He was just about to graze the underside of her left breast when he felt her push against his chest. The movement nearly catapulted her across the room. He was left there lying in the tub. His legs in the air, dangling on the side, as he stared at her.

Her breathing was ragged, her glasses askew. He watched as she tugged down her shirt and straightened her frames. The anger she felt radiated off her. All of a sudden, the room felt hot and uncertain. Kind of a calm before a storm. He knew the storm was coming. It was only a matter of what was going to happened first.

He tried to right himself so he was sitting back on the edge of the tub, but was failing miserably. His arms were weak; his ribs were in pain. He was surprised when he saw her take a step forward and reach her hand out to help him out.

He wasn't going to look a gift hoarse in the mouth. He quickly took her hand and she yanked him up with all her might.

"Penelope…" he whispered once he was upright.

"Don't," she said with force as her eyes held his.

"Penelope, please," he tried again.

She moved to the sink, bracing herself with her arms as she leaned facing away from him. He stared at her face in the mirror, and when she finally looked up. He caught her eye. What he saw made him hitch his breath.

Hatred.

XXXX

She took a couple of moments to compose herself before turning back to him. "Do you need me to help you with the bandage?"

He took a step closer to her, his hand reaching out to her. His face looked pained. Normally she would do anything to stop whatever was causing him the pain. Not this time. She sidestepped him, and picked up the bandages.

Shoving them in his hands she left the bathroom, calling over her shoulder. "If you need me let me know. I'm calling Hotch."

She moved out of the bathroom and reached for her phone. _Screw this and screw him!_ She though. _How dare he try to kiss me!_ She was pissed and hurt. Her body was shaking with the anger she felt coursing through her. That was so typical of him.

 _Let me make her feel like I want her, let me kiss her and make her forget how this all started to begin with. Let me make her fall in love with him all over again, just to walk away._

She shook her head trying to gain some much needed control. Dialing the number she waited for a response.

" _Hotchner."_

She let out a deep breath. "Hotch, it's me. I think you might be missing something."

 _"You know about Morgan?"_

"And his escape?" she asked a small hint of irritation in her tone. "He showed up here in the middle of the night."

She heard Hotch sigh before speaking again. _"Do you know how he got there?"_

"He said something about a cab. I tried to get him to go back to the hospital, but he wouldn't budge. So I'm calling you to come get him." She looked to the bathroom door as Derek made his way out. She rolled her eyes and turned her back away from him.

 _"Alright, we will be there soon. If you can get him to go to the hospital before we get there, please do. We got to sort out the mess he left behind by going AWOL, before we can head back home."_

"I understand, Sir. I will try my best. But I cannot make any promises." She felt the couch she was sitting on dip next to her. She didn't have to look to see who it was.

 _"Penelope, I'm really sorry about all of this. Every last bit of it. When we get home we will figure it all out. Thanks for calling me. Rossi figured he would have gone to you. I didn't want to call you, until we exhausted our efforts. I didn't want to worry you."_

She sighed. "You're a good man, Aaron. I'll see what I can do."

XXXX

Derek sat next to her on the couch as she continued to talk on the phone. He needed to do something to fix this. That look of hatred in her eyes was worse then the torture her received.

No matter how much that look killed him, though, he still had hope. He didn't imagine her reaction to his kiss. She was just as much there as he was. She wanted it. Her body couldn't lie. But she built up walls, walls that he forced her to build the second he left her.

"Hotch and the others will be on their way here after the sort out the hospital stuff." She wouldn't look at him. Instead she kept her eyes cast on the coffee table, where the empty box sat.

"Penelope, that kiss-"

"He also thinks you should go back to the hospital before they get here," she said interrupting him. "Not only do I think you are stupid for leaving, but so does everyone else."

"I don't care who thinks I'm stupid or not. I came here because of you, for you." She finally turned to look at him.

"There is nothing here for you," she said with such disdain he almost recoiled. He knew what she was doing. She didn't hate him, she was acting. That kissed proved it.

"You are here. So there _is_ something here for me."

"Not anymore," she said, jumping up from her spot on the couch.

He knew she was trying to distance herself, but he didn't care. He followed suit and walked into the kitchen right after her. The pain he was feeling was more prominent now, but it didn't stop him. The pain in his heart was worse. "Stop running from me," he growled.

She turned to him, shock marring her face. " _You_ are the one who ran, Derek. Not me! All I am doing right now is keeping your wish. Why try to act like everything is fine between us, when you know it's not? Even if we were to burry the hatchet and pretended everything was fine, in a week, you'd be back in New York. You know, when I first found out you left I was so hurt…" she moved a step closer to him, standing her ground. "I was so hurt you'd actually do something like that to me. Your _best friend._ I wanted it to be a joke. Everyday I prayed you'd come back. Move back into your old apartment and we'd be back to normal. No matter how bad you cut me to the core, I still wished it everyday deep down."

He went to say that he wanted that too, but she cut him off. "Not anymore. Now I want nothing to do with you. I want you back in New York and the hell away from me. Fuck, I don't think New York is even far enough away."

She went to move past him but he grabbed onto her arm, slamming her into his chest. He lowered his head to hers.

"Are you deaf?" she yelled as she pulled away.

"No. I'm in love with you." He strode closer to her. Even when she took a step back, he matched it with his own closer to her.

"I don't know what game you are trying to play here but –"

Her eyes went wide as she looked at him with horror on her face. He went to make a move closer to her, but the pain had gotten too much. He reached his hand to the bandage, trying to ease the pain, and then brought his hand to his face. It was covered in blood. "I- I-", he tried to speak.

"Derek, we need to get you to the hospital!" she yelled grabbing her phone to dial 9-1-1.

He took another step closer to her, but he had become too weak. His knees gave out, making him fall to the floor. He closed his eyes in pain. When he opened them again. Penelope was sitting above him, tears in her eyes. With all the strength he could muster, he spoke. "Promise me, you'll be there," he said with ragged breath. "Promise me you will be there when I wake up this time."

His eyes were closed, as the wave of darkness over took him. He might not know if it were true or not, but he could swear he heard a soft, "Yes."

* * *

 _AN: So what did you think? Don't forget to go vote for your favorite writers on the Profiler's Choice Awards page._


	11. The Garden

**AN Thank you all for the amazing support. I know I have been absent a lot lately, but I have so much going on… not to mention the screw up of the show. Anyway thank you for all the lovely votes. I was blown away. I love you all.**

* * *

Penelope paced outside of Derek's room, trying to control her emotions. A huge part of her wanted to walk into the room with the unconscious Derek lying there and slap him across the face for being so stupid as to leave the hospital in the first place. But a second part of her wanted to run in there, kiss his cheek and tell him everything was going to be okay. They could get through anything.

That wasn't the truth though. She didn't know if they will ever be okay after this.

"Penelope?"

She turned to see Reid walking up to her, two cups of coffee in hand. "How are you doing?"

"Better now that you all are here," she said taking the coffee, grateful for the hot beverage.

Reid turned to look at Derek lying on the bed, before looking back at Penelope. "How about we go for a walk?"

Penelope looked up at Reid and then to Derek. "I can't. He made me promise I would be here this time when he woke up."

Reid nodded, but said, "He just got out of surgery to repair the damage he caused himself. He's gonna be out for a while longer. I promise I'll get you back before he wakes up."

Penelope could feel her resolve breaking. She gave a small nod and took Reid's outreached arm. They were quiet as they made their way outside to the garden that was attached to the hospital. "You know, many hospitals do this."

"Do what?" she asked.

"Make a garden or some sort of community park that's attached. It's somewhere people can go to clear their mind while their loved ones are inside. There is a beautiful garden outside my mom's room."

"It's a nice thing for the hospital to do. I know when my parents were…" She stopped for a moment. "After we ID them there was a small park in the same area. My brothers and I all ended up there. At first we were all quiet, but shortly they blamed me. They ended up leaving me there in that garden. After a couple of hours, I went home made a bag and left. The garden was so peaceful, Spencer. Whenever I felt lost when I was underground I thought about how peaceful and serine it was."

"I think they do that one purpose, Pen. It helps people realize that even though things are bad, there is always good out there too."

She nodded not looking at him.

They were silent watching the garden for a while until Reid spoke. "Sometimes people do idiotic things for the people they love."

"Sometimes people need to realize that enough is enough. Sometimes people need to realize that the one person you counted on in your life could end up crushing you like everyone else you ever loved. Sometimes people need to realize that, things happened for you to become stronger. To become stronger and fight for _your_ life. Not for anyone else. Sometimes people need to realize no matter what you try to do to fix it, there is no fixing it." Penelope sighed, trying to let go of some of her hurt and anger.

"I don't think you really believe that." Reid turned toward her. "Out of everyone I have ever met in my life you are the only person who truly sees the positive in every single thing. You are the person who would lay down her own life to save another with zero questions asked. You don't even need to know the person you are saving."

"Until you become jaded, I lost who I was after…" she took a deep breath. "After he did what he did."

"What Derek did was wrong. I won't deny that at all. Penelope, I also know that he does love you. He's never been good with his feelings, and although he went about everything the wrong way, he does want to fix whatever it is that can be fixed."

"Sweetie, I know you are trying to put the BAU back to the way we used to be. But that's not going to happen." She stared at him, cocking her eyebrow. "How do you even know what happened between us anyway?"

"When Derek was in the hospital and, uh, first woke up, he had told Rossi and Hotch everything. I was waiting outside the door. I was going to go back in after they left to talk to him, but Hotch wanted us all to go home for the night. I planned on talking to him about it the next morning, but when we got to the hospital he was already gone."

"So everyone knows now how he used me?"

"He didn't use you, Penelope." Reid shook his head. "No matter how much you tell yourself that. You know he did _not_ use you. He loves you. He risked his life to come back to you to get you back to him. He would do anything to prove to you his loyalty."

"He has no loyalty to me. If he did, he would have told me the day he took the job… he wouldn't have come over to my house and show me what love was really…" she trailed off. Refusing to cry. "I won't go back Reid. Everything happens for a reason, and this time, it was to show me I need no one in my life. I can do it all on my own."

"Even me? You don't need me, Hotch, JJ, Emily, Rossi? You don't need any of us? You've decided that the family we have created isn't good enough for you anymore because of how Derek treated you." He shook his head but continued. "You know in a lot of ways I am exactly like you. Yes, I know my mother is still alive, but she doesn't know who I am half the time. When I talk to her, it's always a guessing game if she will know me or not. So I've made a new family, and _you_ are a part of that family. Or so I thought."

"Oh Spencer, that's not what I meant." She grabbed his hand. "You know I love you. You are a brother to me, you all are like a family to me. I was just saying I don't need the bond that Derek and I had. I don't need a man in my life to be happy. I can do this on my own."

"You say that everything happens for a reason. Right?"

"Yes," she answered.

"And that this reason was to make you stronger and see you no longer need Derek in your life?"

"Again, yes."

"Have you thought about what this has done to him?"

She stayed quiet.

"Maybe this was his one chance to realize he is worthy enough to love and _be_ loved. Maybe this was his defining moment in his life? He was lucky, Penelope. The unsub was killing everyone he took. Derek made it out alive and when he woke up. Nothing matter to him but _you_. He took a cab ride all the way to you front door after he clearly knew it was not in his best interest to leave the hospital. He did it because he had to get to you," he said.

Penelope sat on the bench. Moments past before she broke the silence. "I loved him," she said. "I loved him so much that when I found out he left and didn't tell me I thought I was actually dying. Like a part of my soul had been ripped out and I was left to die a miserable death on my own."

"I imagine that might be how he felt when he woke up in the hospital room and you had come back home."

"When did you become an expert on relationships?"

"I don't want to see two people I love go down the wrong path."

Penelope watched him for a moment. He had clearly thought hard about something, the sadness passed across his face, but she knew right now was not a time to ask.

She took a cleansing breath. "I had everything of his boxed up, Spencer. All of it. I woke up this morning and he had spent the whole night putting everything back."

"He wants to be back in your life in any way you will have him," he said.

"I don't know if I can do that," she remarked.

He squeezed her hand and stood up. "I'm just asking that you try."

Penelope took his hand and walked back into the hospital. Deciding to go in, she pulled up a chair and sat down next to Derek grabbing his hand. " I don't know if I can do this, Derek. You hurt me more than I have ever been hurt before. But I am willing-"

She stopped speaking when she felt Derek squeeze her hand.

* * *

 _AN: We all know I am a diehard Garcia/Reid friendship and I will put them together any and every time I can._


	12. Courage

**AN: Thank you all for sticking by me with my stories. I almost gave up so many times. I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart. You all make me want to keep writing.**

* * *

Derek felt pain and soreness coursed through his body. He knew he was in the hospital. He could hear the deeps of the machines. If he thought, he felt bad the first time he woke up in the hospital. He was damn wrong. His side was killing him. His ribs actually felt like they had ripped through his body.

He couldn't open his eyes. He tried, but they wouldn't open.

 _Penelope…_

He thought of Penelope. He remembered going to her apartment and the look she had for him when he stood in the doorway. The hatred he saw.

 _No._

He remembered the bathroom and even though she had boxed him away. She still cared enough to help him. To love him. He remembered after she went to bed, he placed everything that was in the box back where it had once belonged. No matter what he had to do. He was going to fix them. He was going to get them back on the right track. He messed up. He knew he did. He just needed to open his damn eyes and fix this.

He felt someone grab his hand.

 _"I don't know if I can do this, Derek. You hurt me more than I have ever been hurt before. But I am willing-"_

 _Penelope!_ he thought. He quickly squeezed her hand. _She was here._ She didn't leave him like last time.

She was here.

He opened his eyes slowly, looking towards the side of the bed. He could see a blurry ball of blonde hair.

"Penelope?" he rasped.

"Derek." She looked up into his eyes.

"You're here." He tried to sit up, but she stood up to push him back. When she tried to let go of his hand, he used all the strength he had to keep her there.

"Don't move," she huffed.

"You stayed."

"You are the biggest, most stupid idiot I have ever met. You know that Derek Morgan? You stupidly left the hospital _against_ medical advice. You then took a cab all the way to Virginia from New York, and then…" she glared at him. "Then you _force_ your stuff back into my life."

"I love you," was all he could say.

She finally pulled her hand away from his.

He went to say something when the doctor walked in. "Nice to see you awake, Agent Morgan. You certainly know how to make yourself known."

Derek wouldn't take his eyes off Penelope. He stared at her, not wanting to be interrupted. They needed to finally work this out.

"You gave us quite a scare. I know you left against medical advice last time, but I am strongly going to urge you not to leave this time. We need to make sure your body can handle it. The damage you caused with leaving, could have been much worse."

"I had something I had to do," Derek remarked still not moving his gaze from Penelope.

"I understand," The doctor said. "But this time it'll have to wait."

"She's here," he said. "I'm not going anywhere unless she leaves."

He watched as Penelope looked to the doctor. He followed her gaze and finally looked back at him. "I'll make sure he stays," she said.

"Good. Now, Derek, how are you feeling?"

They continued the exam until the doctor had ordered the nurse to retrieve some more pain medicine and went on his way.

Derek looked back at Penelope. "You said you were willing to try." He recalled thinking of what she had said at his bedside.

"To forgive you," she clarified.

"I love you," he repeated.

"You have a messed up way of showing it." She stood next to him, pulling the chair closer. "Also, I am pretty sure Hotch is going to ring your neck once you're healed."

"As long as you're there I don't care what he does to me."

"You've lost your mind, Morgan."

"I couldn't agree more. The second I took that stupid fucking job, I lost my mind. I don't know why I ever thought I could leave you. And then…" He looked her in the eyes making sure she held his gaze. "… then you gave me the best night of my life and I _still_ left. I _should_ be in the psych ward."

"Ohh," she said, nodding her head. "I agree with you there. Anyone who purposely does more damage by what you did after you were tortured _needs_ to be in the psych ward."

"I will do whatever it takes to make this up to you."

He turned to the door as he heard people moving in.

"Good to see you are alive and kickin'," Rossi remarked moving into the room with the rest of the team.

"Getting better every moment," he answered.

"You know, I normally don't say this, but you are one stupid ass idiot," Rossi said.

"I completely agree," Derek responded.

"Second that," came from Penelope.

When Derek saw Hotch sit down, he looked directly at him. "I want back on the team. New York isn't for me. I know you haven't replaced me yet and the positing is still there. If you can give me a few weeks to get back in the green, I'll come back."

"Who said we want you?" Hotch remarked.

Derek could feel his face pale.

"You were reckless, stubborn, and you placed yourself in danger on purpose. You left your unit behind."

"I had to leave. I had no choice."

"There are always choices in life, Morgan. You purposely placed yourself in more danger."

Derek looked at Penelope. "I'd do it again."

Hotch sighed. "I know. That's why before we even came in here Rossi and I were already putting your paperwork through. They have a replacement lined up for you in New York already. They seem to have known you weren't coming back."

Derek smiled at him. He knew Hotch had pulled a lot of strings to get him his old job back at the BAU. Hell, if Hotch couldn't have gotten him the job, he still would have left New York. There was no way he was leaving Penelope ever again.

"Thanks, Hotch. As soon as I get the all clear I'll be back to work."

"Mr. Morgan," the doctor reappeared. "I've got you recent test results back. If you can actually _stay_ ," he looked at him. "this time, we should be able to release you within a week as long as you have a place to go."

"I'll figure something out."

"You will have to take it easy. The week here will help tremendously, but for the next month or so your gonna need to take a step back. Maybe have someone stay with you, and help you for a while."

"He'll have it," Penelope spoke up.

"Good. I feel better knowing he will have the care he needs."

"He will, Doctor. Thank you for all you did." Penelope looked back at Derek.

Derek stared at her. He loved her. He didn't know how he could have ever walked away.

"I love you," he said.

"I know," she answered. "And somehow, someway. I still love you, too."

* * *

AN: One more chapter :)


	13. Epilogue

**Hi Everyone. I am so sorry, that I have been so busy. Who would have thought this following your dream thing could actually work out? I'm being booked more and more and end up with zero time for myself. My goal is to get more writing done. I promise I have no abandon these stories and they will all be updated. Thank you all for your continued support. I love you all.**

 **And always remember. Follow your dreams, you never know what could happen.**

* * *

 **Six Months Later**

Derek opened the sliding door leading to the back porch. Penelope had wondered out there when he first answered his phone. She was leaning up against the railing, watering the plants, just as the sun was starting to set.

She was beautiful. The glow on her skin from the sun radiated off her. She truly was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He could spend the rest of his life in this moment, looking at her.

After he was released from the hospital, he had made a point to find a home for Penelope and him. "New Beginnings" he called it. At first, she didn't want to move from her little apartment, but he was able to convince her, with a wrap-around porch and three extra rooms for _further on down the road_ … Although, if it were up to him, that further on down the road would be tomorrow. But he was willing to wait. As long as Penelope was by his side, he'd wait forever.

"How's Hunter?" she asked, turning to him with a cheeky smile.

He couldn't help the little growl that came out. "He's fine."

Penelope laughed. "He still settling into your old position? I think he misses you actually."

Derek moved to where she stood, grabbing onto her hand and bringing her down into the lounge chair, he maneuver himself into. "He's getting used to it. It's a process having to learn how to manage a team, rather than just being a part of one."

"Did he ask about me?"

"Penelope…"

"What? It's a legitimate question." She smirked.

"And it's one I'm not going to answer." He pulled her tighter onto his lap forcing her to lay back on his chest. He kissed her shoulder and nuzzled into her. "I love you," he whispered.

She sighed, as he felt her move more into his embrace. "I love you, too."

All of a sudden something inside him snapped. He squeezed her tighter. "I can't…"

She turned to look at him, a brief glimpse of horror and hurt clouding her face. "Ex-excuse me?"

He kicked himself for causing that look, but he couldn't stop now. Not when he was so close to having everything he had ever wanted at his fingertips. "Penelope," he started, as he moved her so she was now looking directly in his eyes. "I was going to die. When I was in the room, I thought… this was it. I never was going to be able to get the one thing I truly always wanted, and that was you." He held her gaze. "I was a coward."

"Derek, we're past all that," she said quietly.

"I damaged you, just as bad as I damaged myself with walking away." He shook his head, before looking back at her. "I know I kept telling myself I can wait. But I don't think I can anymore."

"What are you talking about?"

"I want your last name changed." He grabbed onto her hand squeezing, as his other hand moved to the side of her cheek slowly caressing it. He spoke softly when, he said, "I want to use those extra rooms."

"Like another office?" she tried to joke, as a tear tear fell from her eye.

"Penelope," he warned. He moved his hand to her stomach as he closed his eyes. "I want a little girl. One that has crazy bouncy blonde hair like her mother. I want a son that will stick to his guns-"

"She'll stick to her guns too," Penelope chocked out.

"I know she will, Baby Girl." He leaned in, resting his forehead against hers. "I want to watch our children grown up every day and be more and more like you," he whispered.

She moved in and kissed his lips. "Well, I want our children to be strong, and brave just like their daddy. I want them to know right from wrong, and always stay strong in what they believe in." She locked eyes with him again. "Just like you."

"I don't want to wait anymore," he said. "I know I kept telling myself I could wait forever until you were ready, but almost dying-"

"Don't," she said. She moved off of him and stood up.

Something inside of him broke. _She wasn't ready, you idiot. You hurt her so bad before, and now you've pushed her,_ he thought.

He stood up and followed her through the house as she made her way to their bedroom. "Penelope, baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring it up," he pleaded as he followed.

He watched as she walked to her dresser and started hunting through it. "Baby, please." He reached for her, but she turned and instead, placed a rectangular box in his open hand.

He looked down, then back up at her.

"I was actually going to come up with a creative way to tell you, but I can't think of anything more perfect than this moment," she said, as anticipation spread across her face.

He looked back down and the box and lifted off the lid.

"I found out three days ago," she whispered.

Tears blurred his vision as he looked at the positive pregnancy test. "Penelope," he whispered.

"Let's hope, he or she turns out exactly as we want," she said, tears streaming down her own face.

He dropped the box on the floor, before pulling her into his arms. "Marry me."

He moved them to the dresser on the other side of the room, where with one arm he rummaged through the top drawer, all the while never letting go of Penelope.

Once he found what he was looking for he dropped to his knees, kissing her stomach. "Hey, little baby," he said. "I'm your Daddy. I've had this ring for a long time. I've just been waiting for the right moment to ask your Mommy a really important question."

He looked up into Penelope's eyes and showed her the ring. She gasped and placed a hand over her mouth. "Oh God, Derek."

"Marry me, baby Girl? Give me what I've always dreamt of. Give me what I have always wanted… with you."

She jumped into his arms, knocking them both onto the floor. "Yes, Derek Morgan. Yes, I will marry you!"

He kissed her on the lips as she laid on top of him. She pulled away with a giant smile on her face. She looked down into his eyes, before saying, "We're gonna have to make sure to invite Hunter."

"That's it!" he growled, as he rolled her under him.

* * *

 _Another PolHop story has come to an end. Thank you for this journey. This has been one of my favorites. Which one do you guys want me to update next? I can't promise fast but I can promise I haven't given up on them._


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